…This is something I have heard so many times before. “Is everything okay with you? You haven’t said anything yet”, “Are you grumpy? You’re so quiet.” But the thing is, I’m actually not grumpy, and yes, everything is actually okay with me.
I’m sure every introvert can relate. Every year at family gatherings during Christmas or during other events, my mum always wonders why I am so quiet, and why I’m not talking about myself. Truth is, I actually don’t really want to talk about myself – I’d much rather let other people speak and listen to them instead. To be quite frank, I find it so boring to have small talk with people, and therefore do not make a single effort to start being chatty – simply because I know that after a few questions back and forth the conversation will die out and we will both awkwardly try to come up with more stuff to discuss.
If I got a penny every time sometime addressed me as rude, I could buy myself some nice treats by now – little do these people know that as an introvert you are just a bit more reserved and minding your own business. This reminds me of a situation at Uni last year, I was on my Erasmus year so obviously there was a large group of students from other countries, fellow Germans in particular. Someone from the group told a friend of mine that she finds it so hard to get to know me and why I don’t seem to like anyone because I seem so unbothered about them? I actually had to explain the girl that this is just my nature and I don’t mean any disrespect by not involving myself in many conversations or meet-ups. This does by no means mean that I am an anti-social person – I am genuinely not. Once I have warmed up and gotten to know people a little more I actually turn into the most sociable and most caring person ever. The thing is – you just have to give me time and get to know me further. To my few close friends or people who I genuinely like and care about I can be the chattiest and most involved person on this planet because I know that our conversation won’t result in some draining chit-chat.
There are so many other things I as an introvert enjoy doing which extroverts might struggle with (my extrovert friends/family do, for all that I know)- going for coffee alone (honestly, I love to take myself out to cafe’s and read a book by myself, I don’t feel lonely by doing that because I enjoy my own company a lot), leaving a social gathering when I feel like I need to recharge and knowing when to have some me-time – the list goes on.
Who can relate?
(PS: My personality type is INFJ but I’ll get into that more properly in a later post 🙂 )